So,
1) I have been sitting I that college class all year and have been tortured.
2) I know that my grades the 1st and 2nd six weeks were pretty freaking horrible, but my third six weeks grade was awesome.
3) I will pass that freakin' test because I'm going to bust my ass studying for the rest of the year.
4) What kind of mom even says that to her daughter?
It's been going on since middle school. I'm not allowed to do anything because "I'm going to fail at it anyway." Never in my life has any of my parents say to me, "Oh hey Dennisse, You should do this, because I know you'll be good at it!" They don't shout encouragements, they just shoot me down with their negative thoughts. I know I don't have to have someone else to have faith in me, in order to have faith in myself. But for Christ's sake these are my fucking parents! Don't they love me? They're always telling me that I need to be like my sister, or my brother. "We're not comparing you.." Hell yes you are, don't bullshit me. I'm tired of being trash, I'm tired of being useless, I'm tired of living in this house that I'm suppose to call home. I'm ready to go, to leave and to never come back. There are things that my mom says to me that literally has me thinking that I am what she says. I've, in a legit matter, thought about dropping out of high school because my mother has me so convinced that I'm not going to get ahead in life.
These are my parents, how are yours?
Here's a quote my pastor once said: "When the negative thoughts come - and they will; they come to all of us- it's not enough to just not dwell on it... You've got to replace it with a positive thought." -Joel Osteen
ReplyDeleteAnother one is "You should tell yourself frequently 'I will only react to constructive suggestions.' This gives you positive ammunition against your own negative thoughts and those of other." - Jane Roberts
What I've learned from church from my pastor (who truly helped me) is that when someone tries to tell you something negative tell them "thank you but I rather not know" and place a wall up. That wall shall protect you from anything negative. And if something negative does try to break through that wall, filter it to make that negative, a positive.
You'll get through this, just don't give up. God is testing you, he's trying to see if you can beat this obstacle of negativity and right now you're half way there.
"Believe that you can and you are half way there." - One of my favorite quotes :)
Everything will be fine and if not, call me and I'll be there to pick you up to take you to the Zoo and we'll go watch the Pandas until the Zoo closes. Even if we have to sneak back in to continue watching them, we will :D
-Maggie<3
Thank you sweetie.<3 ugh, Thank God for Maggie everyone!
ReplyDeleteAnd we will go see the pandas. <333333 oh my gosh! That will make me the happpiest person on earth!